Well I’m here. It’s 7:20 am, a little behind schedule, but that is down to the schedule being a little tight. Whatever flavour of neurodivergence I have was a little miffed that things weren’t hit on the exact time they were set, but the overwhelming response to this should be pride that I was able to do the things at all. I’ll stick with that. Doing the things is more important than doing the things on time.
I was tested though. I wake up and it’s miserable outside. Rain, wind, cold, pitch black. Not the easy transition I would have hoped for getting up and walking the dog, but I sunk my pint of water and vitamins, got dressed and put my anorak on. The dog was thrilled to see her lead and go out. She was equally pleased walking around sniffing things in the pouring rain and wind. I think the lesson here is to find joy in what you’re doing, rather than wishing it was somehow different.
I have spent most of my life postponing wellness in a sense. I’d think that “when I’m better” I’ll be successful at work, I’ll work out every day and be in shape, I’ll eat well and have really cool hobbies. It reminds me of the Cher quote when her mother asked her about settling down and finding a nice rich man, and her response was “I am a rich man”. I think I’ve been doing it all wrong. Perhaps the “well me” isn’t needed to do all these things, perhaps it also works backwards, and that be doing these things is what manifests a “well me”.
Getting out of bed this morning was relatively easy. I was asleep before 11pm, and definitely had some very vivid dreams in the night, meaning I spent quite a bit of time in REM sleep. So I woke up pretty refreshed, with 7 hours under my belt and a sleep score of 87/100 I’ll play around with sleeping for 8 or 9 hours in the future, but I’m not sure I need it.
I did work out. Go me! It was only half an hour, but that’s infinitely more than I have been doing and I want to start off easy, so I don’t skip a day because of DOMs. Just a simple 4 exercises for 3 sets, chest press, lat pull down, shoulder raises, bicep curls. I’m not concerned with the weight at this stage, that’s irrelevant, I want to get two things out of this stage of exercise.
- Consistency of habit
- A stronger back
My back has plagued me for years. I think I have poor core and lumber tone and it’s caused me to rely on resting weight on the curve of my lower spine. In periods where I have been lifting heavy (decades ago) I think the weight of heavy squats has compressed my spinal discs. I’m working on rehabbing my spine to have a stronger core that can handle the weight. To that end each exercise is done incredibly mindfully with a focus on keeping my lower back and ab muscles tensed. Muscles I’ve rarely used, hence why taking it slow is best.
Another thing I’d like to work on in a couple weeks is a set of exercises I found that are a mix of yoga, pilates, and physio. I’ll keep you posted on that.
Right now I need to head off to feed and wake up the house, have a protein shake and scream affirmations into the void.
Inaction is a choice 
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